Tiesto – Kaleidoscope (Music Review)
By Bill Purdy • Oct 29th, 2009 • Category: Categories, Electronic, ReviewsTiesto
Kaleidoscope
Musical Freedom
Rating: 1.5 out of 5
Links: http://www.tiesto.com/
Ah, Tiesto. I’m on to you.
I can see you, your hair slicked back, skin flawless, pleather jacket, magical dragon-sword-guitar print shirt, smelling of freshly-applied Givenchy Pour Homme, locking eyes intently with and speaking in low tones about your new project to the indie stars of today, one by one: first Jónsi, then Emily, then Tegan, then Sara, then Nelly, then Kele, all of them, one at a time. “I will make you sound ten years younger..!” Your spell cast upon them, they blindly follow you into the studio, these hipster chanteurs and chanteuses, position the lyrics sheets beside the windscreen, and lend their voices to your electronic musical mélange.
And then you work your magic, Tiesto! It is a fantastic, wonderful Dutch magic borne of mystery and technology that changes shape in horrible, grotesque ways before becoming Kaleidoscope. “Voila!,” you exclaim when you finally emerge from the studio, your hair slicked back, skin flawless, pleather jacket, magical dragon-sword-guitar print shirt, smelling of freshly-applied Givenchy Pour Homme. “The sound of ten years ago!”
And indeed it is true! Kaleidoscope sounds like it was recorded exactly ten years ago! Both enchanted and intimidated by your feat, and facing down any suggestion they consume electronic music that could be considered “challenging,” or even “interesting,” your fans will respond with ebullient praise and healthy digital sales – while your critics grumble bitterly to themselves.
Yes, Tiesto. I know what you’re up to. And I don’t like it one bit.
Bill Purdy is not a musician. He hasn't a musical bone in his body. That pretty much disqualifies him as a musician (you don't want to be in the room on the rare occasion when he tries to make music), but it apparently doesn't impair his ability to consume music — especially new music — at a ravenous pace. He also likes to tell anyone within earshot what he thinks of music, fancies himself a critic of some sort. We, of course, know better.
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Love it! I feel like I was there! Even better, I feel like I’ve listened and yet, I don’t have to!
A 1.5? Awww. I didn’t like all the female vocals in majority of the tracks. Definitely should leave most of that out of his tracks in my opinion.