To the people who say cover art doesn’t matter when the majority of media people consume these days don’t even have covers on which to put art, I have a challenge for you. Before you listen to Technicolor Dreamer, stare at the artwork above for 30 seconds and try to quantify the degree to which your excitement for the record has waned in that half minute. See? I’ve proven that – at the very least – bad cover art matters. It matters a lot.

So, before I even got it loaded up on the iPod, Technicolor Dreamer had at least one strike against it: it just plain looks unappealing. Could the music be as bad? I really didn’t want to find out.

So I procrastinated. In the two weeks I avoided listening to Scott Hardkiss, I did a lot of things. I took flying lessons. I played with my kids. I got caught up on Curb Your Enthusiasm. I wrote a review of the new Tiesto CD for this very web publication. Finally, in a moment of desperate ennui, I gave in and decided to give Hardkiss a spin. So I plugged my headphones into the laptop and searched my digital music library for “Hardkiss.” I was surprised when, alongside Technicolor Dreamer, The Flaming Lips Fight Test EP was listed. And right there, next to “Do You Realize??,” the words: “(Scott Hardkiss Floating In Space Mix).”

This guy, Scott Hardkiss, hangs with The Flaming Lips? One of my favorite bands, ever? Really? Who knew?

My enthusiasm for Hardkiss suddenly and unexpectedly renewed, I dived in head first. But first I turned off the cover art. No sense ruining the record any more than necessary.

Alas, I needn’t have bothered. Technicolor Dreamer isn’t very good, with or without the bad cover art.

It’s tough to figure out what Hardkiss was trying to accomplish with Technicolor Dreamer. Is it a joke of some sort? If I listen to it like a novelty record, it comes off like a Was Not Was album – but without the laundry list of A-list contributors, the impeccable production, and without the… well, without the jokes. If I try to take it seriously, it reminds me a bit of Beck’s Midnight Vultures, but without the musical depth (or the jokes, frankly). Even its best songs are blatantly derivative – “Hey Deejay” sounds like a rejected demo for Len’s “Steal My Sunshine,” and “You’re the Star” is like a late-1970s K-Tel watered-down cover version of Daft Punk).

I also went back and listened to his Flaming Lips remix. Turns out I didn’t remember it because it’s not very good, either – stuttery and overlong in the way most ‘80s “extended remixes” were, ditching nearly everything that made the original record wonderful for the sake of a relentless and ill-matched beat.

Maybe I’m being too hard on a guy who’s clearly got some talent and some ambition, but who just doesn’t quite have what it takes to bring those two things together. Or maybe he’s a misunderstood genius & I just don’t get how he thinks.

One thing I know for sure: every once in a while, you really can judge a record by its cover.